Curiosity Over Rejection
Are we all in agreement that The Golden Girls are a very unlikely group of friends?
I feel that like’s pretty obvious, yeah? However, I also feel like they got it right and that’s probably something that would be beneficial for most folx.
I think there’s this really big, giant, loud narrative that speaks over everyone else, trying to categorize people and make sure everyone fits into some type of box. We hear this narrative on TV, in the media, powerful world leaders, our parents, teachers, etc. Somehow, that makes people more comfortable. I imagine part of that has to do with the fact that we’ve had this narrative drilled into our heads for so long, and part has to do with the fact that people tend to get uncomfortable with gray areas and just accepting that things may not always fit into singular categories.
People often respond to what they don’t understand (or can’t relate to) with rejection. Seldom do people respond to new perspectives, ideas, experiences, etc. with curiosity (or perhaps this response is more common in our current climate.)
I’ve always been the type of person to seek out people whose life experiences vary from mine, be it in my professional or social setting. In college I worked with individuals who were some combination of Deaf and/or blind, developmentally disabled and often had behavioral issues. After college, I worked for Autism Speaks, organizing walkathons to raise money for research and then after Graduate school, my first full time job as a designer was working for a non-profit that serves LGBTQ+ youth at risk of suicide. Many of the people I worked with had intersectional marginalized identities, and I can’t begin to describe how much I learned about people through that job.
When it comes to my social life I have this “unlikely” pattern, much like our Girls. I’m usually drawn to certain people personality-wise, and the connection always feels deeper than the ones I’m drawn to in terms of common interests. My closest relationships have always been based on our ability to share and connect at a core level - it never really had to do with liking the same bands, having the same style or identifying the same way. This is not the case 100% of the time, but it happens more often than not. This also means that I sometimes do a lot of the things I like by myself.
Since I’m often drawn to and curious about people unlike me, I have this in common with the Girls.
Why (or how?!) would they have developed such close friendships when they were so vastly different?
They learn to appreciate each others’ strengths and ultimately, draw from and seek out those strengths when they need it. Think about The Artist episode; as Laszlo puts it, when he combined all of their best qualities to create “the perfect lady.”
“You compliment each other very well indeed,” he says.
The same holds true if people would meet uncertainty and a lack of understanding with curiosity instead of rejection. Curiosity can lead to understanding, accepting one another and ultimately, complimenting each others’ authentic existence during the short blip of time we find ourselves sharing this planet.
Next time you’re met with a situation and your knee-jerk reaction is to reject (I mean, unless we’re talking about like murder, here) see if you can muster some curiosity to find out more about the person or the scenario. You never know what could come of it.
In friendship and cheesecake,